i think i’ve been thinking too hard about how to start my first post. publishing some form of writing on the internet was one of my bingo card goals for 2026, so i think it raises the stakes a little bit. to be fair, i didn’t say it had to be great, it just had to be something.
i feel like people say this every year but it truly felt like january was 3 years long, i don’t really know how to feel now that it’s over. i feel very grateful to have something to look forward to in the next 2 months.
much like everyone else i thought about the goals i wanted to accomplish for the next 12 months. and even though i do this every year something about this year felt different for me. i think rather than focusing on having tangible goals (which i still have and want to accomplish), i think i want to focus on how i feel rather than what i want to have for this year. a big part of that is that i think i pretty much have everything i need. of course, i know things (finances) could be better. and for the most part i am constantly working towards that. however, i think something needs to change in my approach and that there needs to be a shift in the way that i think about these goals.
this month there was a clear effort from me to change my perspective on setbacks. and i’ll be completely honest it’s because i saw a tiktok, i don’t have it saved but basically this person was saying that every time she felt like something set her back she would always ask herself “what is this teaching me?” and i think it has really helped me put things into perspective. i admit i have the tendency to think that the world is against me and asking myself that question has helped me fight that.
that being said, i got a head start on some of my smaller goals for this year. while i do consider these marked off as #finished i will still hold myself accountable to staying consistent about them throughout the year.
[1] build my blog/website - what platform are you reading this entry on right now? exactly!! i’ve been working on setting up my website for the past month but i have been playing around with neocities for over a year now. and thanks to zonelets i found a template to build the rest of my site on. (why did that sound like an ad read - it’s not but i think everyone should try out neocities and zonelets annyway). i wanted to build my website from scratch because i didn’t like any of the current platforms (i think i will try substack tho dot dot dot) and i wanted to work on something that was purely for myself and really go through the process of building it from the ground up (well, from the zonelets template up). relearning html and css felt like unlocking my middle school brain, it’s funny/interesting how much of this information i retained from creating my own multiply/myspace/tumblr themes. [bro you’re using up all the nostalgia tweet.png]
[2] publish writing on said website - i think the common theme between this goal and the one above is that i just really wanted to go through a PROCESS lol. a process that i put myself through, and something that i don’t necessarily want to go through but am choosing to go through, if that makes sense. i think some time last year i realized i’m constantly just trying to get things done with no time to reflect or let things sit. i think i’ve missed out on a lot by doing things that way. also i used to love blogging a lot, i don’t think i really shared many of them to anyone i knew, i would just publish something on blogger, wordpress, livejournal, etc. (when i tell you i was on everything). there is something about that that i miss. i used to just do shit!!!
[3] delete twitter - i think i have a couple days before they get deleted #permanently but yeah…i don't have much to say about that.
much to reflect about! but that is between me and my journal at this point. let’s get to the fun stuff!!
books
a sharp endless need by marissa crane - my first read of year! i’m pretty pleased with this pick. crane’s prose is a hit or miss for some based on the reviews i’ve seen but i personally enjoyed it. i think it’s mainly what kept me engaged, which is not a dig at the plot or the characters but ultimately i wanted something different from the story towards the end. heartbreaking in many ways without feeling like trauma porn.the serviceberry by robin wall kimmerer - i listened to the audiobook while i was working around the house but i do want to go back and actually read it. it touched on a lot of the things i already believed in and knew in my heart, just said in a more poignant and optimistic way.
movies
hamnet - unexpectedly moved me (unexpected because i went into it completely blind). i don’t think i would go see it again but it was a lovely experience and i’m very glad i went!no other choice - such a fun movie with a lot of cool shots! i didn’t really care about the commentary the movie was trying to make even though we are no stranger to the horrors of finding a job but at the same time i don’t think it really took away from my enjoyment of the movie.
music
this is going to be my least interesting section because i can actually only listen to one song at a time (maybe the shame i’m feeling about having to write about this right now is going to shame me into listening to more new music but it is what it is for now) all that being said all i listened to this month was stateside by pinkpanthress ft. zara larsson.games
unpacking - i finished this game over a weekend when i was sick. i loved everything about it! my only critique is that i wish it had more levels, but as a story i think it was a good place to end.acnh - i am BACK stronger than ever. to be honest i got sick of the hotel update 4 rooms in so now i’ve just been really busy with redoing my island and the rooms in my house.
sports aka favorite twolves moments
i don’t think i’ve watched a full men’s basketball game since the year started and i honestly probably wont til the playoffs, but i did just want to say that i wish every game was twolfs vs. spurs. i’m obsessed with ant saying he wished it could have just been him and wemby, wemby saying he’d try to block him as much as he can moving forward… I’LL BE THERE… oh and i also really loved that game against the bucks when ant was out because #BabyDeerJoan was hoopinghobbies
playing around with the code of this website has been keeping me busy in a good way. sometimes i wish i didn't have to work so i could just do this for a little bit longer!!! i also started actively reading wuthering heights, taking notes as if i'm going to write a book report on it. both have been really fun and engaging.
the next 2 months are going to be pretty busy for me, there’s lots to celebrate (paul's gotcha day, valentine's day, me and hana's anniversary, hana's birthday, and MORE !!!) and i’m super super grateful. i haven’t really thought about what my short-term goals are for february or how i’m going to approach the long-term ones. i’ll give myself this week to try to figure how all of that is going to work. i am currently reading wuthering heights and i am aiming to finish it before the movie comes out, so i can shit on the film like everyone else!!!